


Dark Agent: Secret Dreams and Forbidden Fire

by J_L_Nevole (Brambleshadow_of_WindClan)



Series: Dark Agent [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-22
Updated: 2013-11-15
Packaged: 2017-10-27 19:36:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 13,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/299323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brambleshadow_of_WindClan/pseuds/J_L_Nevole
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The team goes out one night after a case to relax, and find themselves at a karaoke bar. Needless to say, hilarity ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wild Child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title comes from the Bonnie Tyler album of the same name.

Maria Valdez dug in her heels at the front entrance to the bar, not caring that she was holding up the rest of the Naval Criminal Investigative Service Major Case Response Team. “No! I absolutely refuse to go to a karaoke bar! I don’t _care_ if it’s after hours!”

Andy DeMarco, her partner, stopped and said cajolingly, “Hey, come on. We’ve had a hard case, and since our team leader here won’t take any time off”—he ignored Special Agent Mark Hanson’s glare—“I figured we could all go out and have fun. Besides, you’re exhausted, and you look like you need to unwind.”

The twenty-seven-year-old Chicana glared at him through dark brown eyes, her frizzy black hair whipping around her face due to the slight breeze. Andy looked back at her through dark blue eyes, his short black hair gleaming in the lights that came from the bar. “I know how to unwind perfectly well by myself, thank you very much.” A relaxing run in the woods near her little ranch in wolf form usually did the trick, but the other three Statics on the team wouldn’t know that.

“Look,” Agent Hanson interrupted, “are we going in or not? I intend to have bourbon, if that’s all right with you.”

There was a slightly awkward silence, which was broken by Amy Stanton, the team’s forensic scientist, exclaiming in exasperation, “Oh, come on!” and pushing her way to the front of the group. The blonde opened the door and stepped inside, pulling Tom McGurn, the team’s probie, in after her. Exchanging amused glances, Maria, Andy, and Mark followed.

Once inside, it didn’t take the forensic scientist long to spot the karaoke machine. Letting out a squeal, Amy spun around, her hands clasped together as if in prayer. “Can we, Hanson? Please, please, please?”

One look at the forensic scientist’s excited face, and he caved in. “All right.”

“Great!” Before Maria could protest, Amy had come around behind her and was shoving her towards the little stage.

“Amy, what are you—?”

The team’s only Shifter was interrupted by the scientist rifling through the song choices and, with a cry of “A-ha!” hitting Play. A grinning Amy handed Maria the mike as a catchy drumbeat filled the room. Luckily, the Chicana Shifter recognized it. She groaned inwardly. _You’ve got to be kidding._

Unfortunately, the team didn’t look like they were going to be much help. At an urgent wave from Amy, Maria swallowed hard and, following the on-screen lyrics, began singing, _“It’s too late to turn back when the green lights flash. It’s too late to turn around when the love goes down. Your fire, my fate. This woman won’t wait. So, love, beam your laser light. Get ready gonna take this flight.”_

DeMarco was nodding his head to the beat, a small, knowing smile on his face. McGurn’s green eyes widened and his mouth dropped open as he glanced from the senior field agent to the junior agent on stage.

Maria thought, _I’m gonna kill you for this, Amy,_ before continuing: _“You’re so wild (you’re wild and willing). So wild (your spirit’s free). You’re such a wild, wild child (you’re wild and willing). Oh baby go wild with me.”_

“I’d love to,” Andy muttered.

_“Two hearts, one mind. Oh baby you’re my kind. You’re too hot, you’re too much, you got that personal touch. Push button play thing, you make my back door ring. You’re fightin’ fire with a little fire, baby. You oughta know you make this little girl sing._

_“You’re so wild (you’re wild and willing). You’re so wild (your spirit’s free). You’re such a wild, wild child (you’re wild and willing). Oh, go wild with me.”_

Maria actually found she was enjoying herself and felt a smile forming on her face. She started jumping up and down a bit during the instrumental break, much like the guitarist in the band that performed the song she was now singing. Deciding to tease her partner a little bit, she sashayed her hips on the next verse:

_“Oh, do your little shake, baby, rattle and roll. Ring my bell, baby, do my soul. Don’t let the grass grow under my feet. Play my drum. baby. feel my beat. You’re so wild, so wild. Oooh, go wild with me, yeah (you're wild and willing). Mmmmm (your spirit’s free). Yeah, yeah (you’re wild and willing). Yeah, yeah. You’re so wild (you’re wild and willing). So wild (your spirit's free). You’re so wild, yeah (you’re wild and willing). Come on, go wild with me. (You’re wild and willing. Your spirit’s free.) You’re such a wild, wild child (you’re wild and willing). Yeah. Yeah.”_

Once done, she hopped off and shoved the microphone at Amy. The female Shifter snarled, “I am never doing that again.”

“Right,” the blonde said dryly, her tone making it clear she didn’t believe her.

Next to the coffee-loving scientist, Andy smirked and said, “Well, thank you. I didn’t think you thought so highly of me.”

“Oh, shut up,” Maria snapped. “I don’t. And don’t even think about it, _señor_.”

The thirty-five-year-old agent looked offended. “Would I really do that to you?”

“Yes.”

“She’s got you there, Andy,” Tom said, speaking up for the first time since entering the bar. His wavy, light-brown hair looked darker in the poor lighting.

“Shut it.”

Mark Hanson, the team's leader, narrowed ice-blue eyes at the junior field agent. “You weren’t really coming on to him, were you, Maria?”

“You’re joking, right?”

“Good. You know how I feel about co-workers dating each other.”

“That’s Rule Thirteen, right?”

“Right. ‘Never date a co-worker.’”

“Okay,” Amy piped up. “Anyone up for another song?”

“Hey, it’s your idea,” DeMarco pointed out with an evil grin. “Your turn, O Queen of Forensics.”


	2. Holding Out For A Hero

Amy, instead of looking terrified, grinned. “Thanks, Andy.” She grabbed the mike and sauntered up to the stage, whispering something in the nameless DJ’s ear. He nodded and selected the song she’d wanted. Moments later, the opening chords of a _Footloose_ hit filled the bar.

Tom’s green eyes widened as the forensic scientist glanced over him with playful blue eyes. She smirked and started singing, _“Where have all the good men gone, and where are all the gods? Where’s the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds? Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed? Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need._

_“I need a hero. I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the night. He’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast, and he's gotta be fresh from the fight. I need a hero. I’m holding out for a hero 'til the morning light. He’s gotta be sure, and it’s gotta be soon, and he’s gotta be larger than life, larger than life.”_

Both Maria and DeMarco glanced at the probie, Andy's blue eyes swimming with mirth. He tried holding back his laughter, but failed. “Oh, yeah, that’s McGeek all right.”

He shut up when Mark slapped him upside the head. Grinning evilly, Amy was free to continue without any more interruptions.

_“Somewhere after midnight in my wildest fantasy, somewhere just beyond my reach there’s someone reaching back for me. Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat. It’s gonna take a Superman to sweep me off my feet. I need a hero. I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the night. He’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast, and he’s gotta be fresh from the fight. I need a hero. I’m holding out for a hero ’til the morning light. He’s gotta be sure and it’s gotta be soon, and he’s gotta be larger than life. I need a hero. I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the night.”_

“Ri-ight,” Andy muttered sarcastically. Maria had to fight back a snarl; none of the team knew she could transform into a wolf at will.

Mark glared. “If you don’t shut up, right now—”

“I’m sure Amy would quite easily be able to kill you without leaving a trace,” Maria finished, her eyes glaring daggers at the senior field agent.

McGurn, meanwhile, was taking no notice. He was too busy staring with puppy-dog eyes at the forensic scientist on stage.

_“Up where the mountains meet the heavens above, out where the lightning splits the sea, I could swear that there’s someone somewhere watching me. Through the wind and the chill and the rain and the storm and the flood, I can feel his approach like a fire in my blood.”_

“Oh, gag,” the senior field agent muttered under his breath.

_“I need a hero. I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the night. He’s gotta be strong and he’s gotta be fast, and he’s gotta be fresh from the fight. I need a hero. I’m holding out for a hero ’til the morning light. He’s gotta be sure, and it’s gotta be soon, and he’s gotta be larger than life. I need a hero. I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the night. He’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast, and he’s gotta be fresh from the fight. I need a hero. I’m holding out for a hero ’til the morning light. He’s gotta be sure, and it’s gotta be soon, and he’s gotta be larger than life. I need a hero. I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the night.” ___

As the song faded away, Amy made her way to the rest of the team. Grinning wickedly, she handed the mike to DeMarco. “I believe it’s your turn, lover boy.”

He blanched. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope. If you don’t . . . well, it won’t be pretty.”

The only thought going through the movie-loving agent’s head was, _God help me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: "Holding Out For A Hero" by Bonnie Tyler
> 
> Oh, I will take a few requests, but I can't promise how many of them I'll use.


	3. The Kid Is Hot Tonite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any of the songs in this story. They all belong to their respective owners. I'm just borrowing them for my characters to use, and hopefully, my team won't be _too_ damaged. :D

“Well, what are you waiting for, DeMarco?” Hanson snapped. “Get up there! If not . . .” He slapped the black-haired agent on the back of the head, making the threat clear. “Besides, you don’t want to die, do you?”

“Uh, no, Boss. Very good point, Boss,” he stammered. Andy—wondering if he’d lost his mind—took the mike from Amy’s outstretched hand. Why couldn’t she have chosen the probie, who’d had his eye on her since he’d started working at NCIS? It was a mystery.

At the blonde’s persistent gaze and waving motion with her hands, he reluctantly headed over to the machine. _Remind me why I came here in the first place. Well, “we just heard of a brand new wave . . .” Hey, that’s it!_ Pleased with himself, he looked through the song choices to see if it was on the machine. Surprisingly enough, it was.

The DJ offered to help, but he waved him away with the words, “I got it.” The next moment, he hit Play and the familiar chords spread throughout the room.

On her barstool, Maria had to bite back a groan. Of course Andy would pick this one. It was one of her favorite songs, but—although she knew he had a good voice from the times he’d come in to work singing along on his iPod—he probably wouldn’t do the song justice. Then again, the movie-loving agent was good at voice imitations.

Next to her, Tom practically choked on his drink. He set the glass down and coughed hard. When he’d recovered, he said, “Please tell me this isn’t what I think it is.”

“I’m afraid it is,” Amy said from where she was sitting on McGurn’s right. Andy had been on Maria’s left, and Mark was on Andy’s nine—which came in handy for head-slaps.

Their attention was returned to the NCIS agent onstage as he began the first verse.

_“We just heard of a brand new wave, and we hope it's here to stay. We’ll have to wait and see if it’s half of what they say.”_

Already he was jamming out like some ’80s rocker, complete with hand motions and guitar riffs. At the sight, Maria couldn’t help letting out a bark of laughter.

_“We heard he opened up a brand new door. Well, you know that’s what I’m lookin’ for. We’ll have to wait and see if it makes you shout for more._

_“How do you like him so far? How do you like his show? How do you like the way he rocks and the way he rolls? How do you like his image? How do you like his style? How do you like the way he looks and the way he smiles?”_

Then it was on to the chorus, and Maria found herself joining in, albeit softly.

_“The kid is hot tonight. Whoa, so hot tonight. But where will he be tomorrow? The kid is hot tonight, whoa, so hot tonight. But where will he be tomorrow?”_

Tom stared at Maria as if she'd turned into a werewolf or something. She quickly glanced down, relieved to find she was still in human form. The probie said incredulously, “You actually know this song?”

“Yeah. You got a problem with that?” she challenged. Her eyes flashed, allowing her wolf to briefly shine through. She quickly suppressed her inner beast, preferring that Tom thought he was imagining things.

“No,” he said quickly.

“Good. Now shut up. He’s starting up again.”

Glancing towards the stage, Maria was all too aware that Andy’s eyes were fixed on her.

_“And we just heard of a brand new fad, and they say it’s gonna drive you mad. We’ll just have to wait and see if it’s the best you ever had. And we just heard of a brand new wave. We heard it’s headin’ for an early grave. We’ll have to wait and see if there’s anything we can say._

_“How do you like him so far? How do you like his show? How do you like the way he rocks and the way he rolls? How do you like his image? How do you like his style? How do you like the way he looks and the way he smiles?”_

“Why do I get the feeling this song could be about a certain Canadian teenage pop star?” Amy muttered.

_“The kid is hot tonight, whoa, so hot tonight. But tell me, where will he be tomorrow? The kid is hot tonight, whoa, so hot tonight. But where will he be tomorrow, whoa? The kid is hot tonight, whoa, so hot tonight. But where will he be tomorrow? The kid is hot tonight, whoa, so hot tonight. But where will he be, where will he be? The kid is hot tonight, whoa, so hot tonight. But where will he be tomorrow? The kid is hot tonight, whoa, so hot tonight. . . .”_

The senior field agent finished with a flourish and, with a broad grin on his face, started heading for the rest of the team after setting down the microphone.

"Did you seriously have to sing that?" Tom complained.

"Says the guy who has an online gaming persona."

"It's an Elf Lord, for the thousandth time!"

"Okay, Elf Lord," Andy teased.

Maria released a low sound that was half laugh, half growl. "I must say, that was brilliant. You sounded almost exactly like Mike Reno."

"Thanks, Maria," he replied, blue eyes growing warm as he looked her over. He immediately averted his gaze at her low warning snarl. Man, she was really going to have to control her animalistic side tonight. She couldn't afford to have any of her team members become suspicious.

Just then, she noticed a vaguely familiar figure, one she knew from snooping around Andy's desk when he was on an undercover mission a few months ago. "Hey, isn't that Jeanine?"

“Say what?” the senior field agent yelped in horror. He whirled to see the leggy brunette stalking toward them. Mouth gaping like a fish, he managed to force out, “Hide me.”

Maria smirked. “Gladly. If you’d like, I could just take care of her.” Turning away, she briefly flashed fangs and licked her lips, then willed her canines to resume their normal shape.

Andy looked immensely relieved. “Would you? I’d be forever in your debt.”

“Nah,” she replied and slipped off her stool, walking away. She could feel Andy’s gaze boring into her back, and even though she couldn’t read his mind, she had a pretty good idea what he was thinking: _Noooo!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: "The Kid Is Hot Tonite" by Loverboy


	4. Take It Anyway You Want It

Jeanine Bryant, a doctor in the ER at Parkview Hospital, glowered at the NCIS team. She still couldn’t believe she'd fallen for an undercover NCIS agent, and he’d only done so to become close to her brother, a major drug dealer who had clients in the Marine Corp.

Then she noticed the Mexican-American woman who'd been sitting near him coming toward her. Black hair, fudge-colored eyes, real pretty. Why couldn’t she look like that? Not that she wanted to, of course, but . . .

Maria stopped in front of the doc, her eyes slowly moving over her, the way a predator sizes up its prey. “What are you doing here?” the Shifter finally asked.

“What, can’t I go to a karaoke bar just to hang out? It’s not my fault that my ex is here. And speaking of my ex . . .” Jeanine’s voice trailed off, a gleam of anger in her eyes as she shot daggers at the senior agent’s head. Seeing the look in the brunette’s eyes, Maria curled her upper lip in a snarl, feeling her canines starting to sharpen. She quickly willed them back into their normal shape once more.

An idea came to her and she said slyly, “Hey, since it is karaoke night and all, you could . . . sing a song.”

“Good idea,” Jeanine said, her voice tense. She marched up to the karaoke machine, picked up the mike, and rifled through the song choices. The DJ, who was starting to feel he wasn’t needed anymore, started whistling and took out a copy of _MSN_ magazine.

Maria returned to her team, casting a swift glance at DeMarco. Her partner had gone as white as a sheet. He gasped out, “I thought you said you’d take care of her. As in, make her leave.”

Smiling, the junior agent shook her head. “Sorry, but you need to hear what she has to say.”

Onstage, Jeanine pressed Play and, facing the NCIS team, snarled, “To the agent who broke my heart. You know who you are.” After a few measures she sang, _“You were the one who made me lose control just when I needed to be on my own. You had an answer but no alibi. You’re feelin’ sorry cause there’s no time to lie._

_“So what? You deserve everything that you got. You think I’m gonna be there, but I’m not. So take it any way you want it. Take it any way you please. Take it any way you want it. But I don’t think you wanna bother me.”_

At that, Maria half-rose from her seat, a growl in her throat. It took the entire combined force of Amy, Andy, and Tom to hold her back. Subdued, she shook them off easily and returned to moodily stirring her drink with her spoon.

_“Don’t bother runnin’ through the old routine. Your words are weak and they don't mean a thing. You had your chances and you threw ’em away. You said the ‘turnaround’ was in fair play._

_“So what? You deserve everything that you got. Ya think I’m gonna be there, but I’m not. So take it any way you want it. Take it any way you please. Take it any way you want it. But I don’t think you wanna bother me._

_“I don’t wanna be the one accused. You never thought you’d see the day it’d come back on you!”_

Valdez latched her eyes onto the brunette, mentally planning how best to kill her. It would be so easy in wolf form, but Shifters couldn’t reveal themselves to Statics. Ah, well. She wouldn’t get away with it anyway, not in the crowded bar with her teammates—her packmates, in a way—surrounding her. Maria allowed herself to bare her teeth at the singing doctor, making sure they were human.

Andy looked as if he was in pain, or at least deep in troubled memories. His blue eyes were filled with . . . what was that in his eyes?

At Mark’s headslap, both agents started. Maria yelped. Andy cried, “What was that for?” while rubbing the back of his head.

Hanson glared. “For blowing your undercover mission and for eyeing Agent Valdez like a piece of meat.”

They quickly returned their attention to the stage when Jeanine continued, _"You hate to say that maybe you were wrong. You want contentment, but ya can’t be that strong. You see the shadow on the window blind, but that shadow will never be mine._

_“So what? You deserve everything that you got. Ya think I’m gonna be there, but I'm not. So take it any way you want it. Take it any way you please. Take it any way you want it, but I don't think you wanna bother me. Take it any way you want it. Take it any way you please. Take it any way you want it, but I don't think you wanna bother me.”_

As she finished, it took all of Maria's self control not to launch herself at the doctor and shift into wolf form. Besides, clothes hampered her ability to shift. The best she could do was send a murderous glare at the leggy brunette and . . . oh, forget it. She murmured, “She’s so dead.” The next moment, she’d lunged forward. The team dove for her legs, causing all of them to topple for the floor, the knife Maria had unsheathed flying out of her hand and burying itself in a dartboard. Several guys nearby who’d been playing darts looked around and swore when their gazes fixed on the NCIS team.

Maria struggled underneath the combined weight of her co-workers and demanded, “Let me up! ¡Ahora!”

Oh so reluctantly, they did. Once she was able to stand up, the Shifter stalked toward the dartboard and retrieved her knife. Cleaning it off with the edge of her T-shirt, she sheathed it in her boot. “Are we done here?”

“Hey, guys,” Jim Steiner said as he walked up, his mentor Dr. Harry H. Holmes, the medical examiner, on his seven. “What’d we miss?”

“Not much,” Andy muttered. His gaze was still fixed on the brunette he’d developed a relationship with while undercover. It was understandable she’d be upset about him breaking her heart, but it was two months ago. Steiner followed his gaze and looked puzzled, while Holmes only nodded and said, “I see.”

Jeanine, who had walked over, stood with her hands on her hips. “I hope you learned from that, DeMarco, or whatever you go by nowadays.” Even Maria, who seriously disliked the girl for reasons even unknown to her, winced at the biting tone in the doctor’s voice. Then the green-eyed doc stalked away and sat at a table, ordering a martini. She sipped her drink in silence when she arrived, not giving the team a second glance.

Amy shifted uncomfortably, then turned her gaze on the two medical examiners. “You two want a turn at singing karaoke?”

They protested adamantly, so she turned to her next victim. “All right, Agent Hanson, what about you?”

Bourbon sprayed everywhere. “Say _what_?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: "Take It Anyway You Want It" by Pat Benatar


	5. Belleau Wood

“You heard me,” the blue-eyed blonde said, her braid bouncing up and down as she nodded. “Sometimes you have to face the facts. You. Are. Singing. Karaoke.”

The team's leader groaned and cast a sorrowful look at his glass of bourbon. He downed the shot in one gulp and rose. “Fine. But for the record, I did so under protest.”

“Works for me.” Stanton grabbed his hand and dragged him toward the stage. With his SEAL background, Hanson could easily have fought her off, but since Amy could kill you and leave no forensic evidence, he didn’t want to take the chance of her slipping potassium cyanide into his drink. Hence the reason he was reluctantly allowing himself to be thrust into this insanity.

Amy shoved him onstage and turned to the karaoke machine. Looking at the song choices, she asked, “You know any Toby Keith?”

“Who?"

“I’ll take that as a no. Alan Jackson?”

“Huh?”

“Garth Brooks?”

“Yep.”

Turning, she tilted her head, reminding him of an inquisitive bird. “Why am I not surprised? Ah well.” Turning back to the machine, she selected a song. Instead of rock music, the strains of a country ballad floated through the bar. For some of the patrons, it was a welcome change.

After sending Amy a look that said she would suffer a slow and painful death for this, the former SEAL took the mike and crooned, _“Oh, the snowflakes fell in silence over Belleau Wood that night, for a Christmas truce had been declared by both sides of the fight. As we lay there in our trenches, the silence broke in two by a German soldier singing a song that we all knew. Though I did not know the language, the song was ‘Silent Night’. Then I heard my buddy whisper, ‘All is calm and all is bright.’ Then the fear and doubt surrounded me ’cause I’d die if I was wrong, but I stood up in my trench and I began to sing along._

_“Then across the frozen battlefield another's voice joined in, until one by one each man became a singer of the hymn. Then I thought that I was dreaming, for right there in my sight stood the German soldier ’neath the falling flakes of white. And he raised his hand and smiled at me as if he seemed to say, ‘Here's hoping we both live to see us find a better way.’_

_“Then the devil's clock struck midnight and the skies lit up again. And the battlefield where heaven stood was blown to hell again. But just for one fleeting moment, The answer seemed so clear. Heaven's not beyond the clouds. It's just beyond the fear. No, heaven's not beyond the clouds. It's for us to find it here.”_

By the time he was finished, the whole bar was silent. His team looked like a school of gaping goldfish.

“Wow, Boss, that was great,” DeMarco said when he joined them again. "I didn't know you could sing like that, and with a song that—”

Hanson slapped him upside the head. “Shut up, DeMarco.”

“Yes, Boss.” Andy winced and rubbed the spot where he'd been hit. “Shutting up, Boss.”

“Don’t make me hit you again.”

“Why?” Maria asked. “We all know he enjoys it.” She smirked at the senior field agent, who gave her the evil eye in return.

“Funny,” Andy snarled.

“Oh, you think so?”

“Not really.” Then an idea came to him and he turned to McGurn. “What about you, Probie? I believe it's your turn.”

The probationary agent gulped, the blood draining out of his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: "Belleau Wood" by Garth Brooks


	6. You Give Love A Bad Name

“Please tell me you’re joking,” Tom pleaded.

Andy grinned wolfishly. “I’m afraid not, McChicken.”

The probie glared. “Who’re you calling chicken?”

“Then get up there.”

McGurn folded his arms over his chest. “No way. Read my lips. I. Am. Not. Going. Up. There.”

Maria, watching them, had to bite back a laugh as Amy sidled up between the two and slid her hands up Tom’s torso and rested them flat on his shoulders. Giving him a flirtatious smile, she said, “For me? Please?”

Tom’s green eyes swept over her all-black clothing and he sighed. “All right.” Reluctantly, he made his way for the squat platform that served as the stage. As he passed her, Maria could feel—or smell, rather—anticipation and satisfaction coming off him. Even though she was used to her keen senses, it still amazed her how emotions could subtly change a person’s scent. She couldn’t read his thoughts though, since he wasn’t a Shifter, and even then, she had to be in wolf form.

A moment later, the chords of a Bon Jovi hit could be heard.

_“Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame. Darlin’, you give love a bad name.”_

The whole team’s jaws dropped, except for Amy, who grinned broadly. DeMarco choked on his drink as the normally shy agent started doing a Bon Jovi imitation.

Staring right at the blonde forensic scientist, Tom continued, _“An angel’s smile is what you sell. You promise me heaven, then put me through hell. Chains of love got a hold on me. When passion’s a prison you can’t break free._

_“Whoa! You're a loaded gun, yeah. Oh, there's nowhere to run. No one can save me. The damage is done._

_“Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame. You give love a bad name (bad name). I play my part and you play your game. You give love a bad name (bad name). Hey, you give love a bad name.”_

The rest of the NCIS team, Dr. Holmes and Steiner included, couldn't help roaring with laughter. Well, except for Hanson, but a smile was twitching at his lips.

_“Paint your smile on your lips. Blood red nails on your fingertips. A school boy's dream, you act so shy. Your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye._

_“Whoa! You’re a loaded gun. Oh, there’s nowhere to run. No one can save me. The damage is done._

_“Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame. You give love a bad name (bad name). I play my part and you play your game. You give love a bad name. You give love . . ._

_“Oh, shot through the heart and you’re to blame. You give love a bad name (bad name). I play my part and you play your game. You give love a bad name. Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame. You give love a bad name (bad name). I play my part and you play your game. You give love a bad name. You give love, you give love a bad name. You give love, you give love a bad name. You give love a bad name.”_

The probie hopped off, an idiotic grin on his face. Glancing over at her partner, Maria noticed with amusement that he was still speechless. She said, “Great job, Tom,” as McGurn joined them.

“Thanks,” he replied, but he had eyes only for Amy. The forensic scientist was giving him puppy-dog eyes right back. Maria looked away quickly, a disgruntled noise in the back of her throat.

“Great job?” Andy finally found his voice. “That was awesome!”

He winced when his team leader headslapped him. “OW! Geez, what was that for?”

“You don’t have to be overly excited about it, DeMarco,” Mark grumbled.

Andy cast his gaze over the group, obviously thinking who had yet to go, and his eyes—along with Amy’s—landed on Jim Steiner. With a wicked smile, he said, “Okay, Autopsy Gremlin, you’re up next.”

Steiner looked as if he’d seen a ghost. He let out a moan of fear. “Lord, help me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: "You Give Love A Bad Name" by Bon Jovi


	7. Anxiety (Get Nervous)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: "Anxiety (Get Nervous)" by Pat Benatar

Andy and Tom grinned evilly, and Maria couldn't stop a smirk from creeping across her face as the two agents took each arm of the Autopsy Gremlin and dragged the reluctant geek up to the stage. Then the two scrolled through song choices on the karaoke machine, finally picking one out after much debate between “I Will Survive” and “Anxiety (Get Nervous)”.

The erratic beat filled the room, and Jim looked even more nervous. Finally he whispered in a barely audible voice, _“Get nervous, get nervous. Get nervous, get nervous, get nervous. Get nervous, get nervous, get nervous. Get nervous, get nervous._

_“I feel a little shaky. I can’t control my nerves. I know you think I’m fakin’, but can’t you feel the curves? I swear to you this feeling it scares me half to death. It gathers in my throat and it gathers up my breath._

_“Anxiety got me on the run. Anxiety, yeah, I just need someone. Anxiety can’t get nothin’ done. Anxiety spoils all the fun.”_

The NCIS team started cracking up. This song was perfect for the nervous Autopsy Gremlin.

Jim, who was starting to get into the swing of things, glared at his teammates as he continued, _“I’m picking up the telephone, there’s no one I can call. I need somebody fast, and I can’t find no sleep at all. I wish I could relax; I just can’t stop my mind. I wish I could collapse, but my body’s not that kind._

_“Anxiety got me on the run. Anxiety I just need someone. Anxiety can’t get nothin’ done. Anxiety spoils all the fun.”_

Maria grinned. Could there be any better a choice for Steiner? True, the original artist was female, but Jim’s cover made it even more funny. Her grin widened as she remembered the music video and she couldn’t help laughing.

The assistant medical examiner was shifting his weight, rocking back and forth as he pleaded, _“Can’t you hear my heartbeat, hear the way it sounds? Can’t you hear my heartbeat? You hear the way it pounds. Just give me something to slow it down, yeah._

_“Sometimes in the city, sometimes in my car, I pound on the windows like a bee inside a jar._

_“Anxiety got me on the run. Anxiety yeah, I just need someone. Anxiety can’t get nothin’ done. Anxiety spoils all the fun. Anxiety got me on the run. Anxiety yeah, I just need someone. Anxiety can’t get nothin’ done. Anxiety spoils all the fun.  
“Get nervous, get nervous. Get nervous, get nervous. Get nervous, get nervous.”_

When the final notes faded out, he scrambled down lightning-quick from the stage, an expression of terror on his face. The auburn-haired geek was on his knees as he begged, "Don’t make me do that again!”

Andy grinned. “Don’t worry, we’re not.”

Jim looked immensely relieved. “Oh, thank you.”

DeMarco's grin widened, resembling one of an evil madman. “Maria’s going next.”

The Chicana Shifter gripped her glass so hard it shattered into pieces. “You’re out of your mind, man. You try that, I’ll kill you.”

Mark slapped her upside the head. “Do it.”

“Do I have a choice?”

“No.”

“Great,” she complained. “I’m dead meat.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that,” Andy smirked.

“Andy?” Maria growled.

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.”


	8. Will You Be There (In the Morning)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of this song is in Spanish, so if you know the English version, you should be all right. Just to be safe, I've translated the verses that are in Spanish.

“I think you’re nuts,” Maria said as Andy started pushing her in the direction of the stage after she'd tried refusing one more time.

“Hey, it’ll do you some good. You need to relax,” her partner said. “Besides, you do have a great voice.”

Her eyes narrowed. “You just like ‘Wild Child,’ don’t you?”

He gave her a push that sent her stumbling next to the karaoke machine. “Yeah. Just sing another song by the same band. Didn’t they do a couple in Spanish?”

The she-wolf sighed, accepting the inevitable, and searched for the song she wanted. After scrolling through several song choices, she found it and pressed Play. Of course, the words that popped up on the screen were in English, but she decided to sing the first verse in Spanish.

Maria was still going to murder her partner and the forensic scientist for this.

After a few measures, she began, _“Aquí a tu lado siento soledad. Me gustaría dormir. No puedo descansar. Yo sé que sufro por tu loco amor, mi forma de vivir. Yo te pido por favor. ¿Te quedaras?”_ (I’m lying beside you just thinking ’bout us. Too tired to go to sleep; I’m too much in love. I know I’m crazy, but I can’t close my eyes. I’m scared you won’t be there in the morning when I rise. Will you be there?)

“What’s she saying?" Tom whispered in Amy’s ear.

The blonde shrugged. “Search me.”

Hearing them, Maria decided to switch to English for the next few verses.

_“Now, who do you dream about? Are you alone in your sleep? To who will you reach out? Oh, let it be me._

_“Now, baby, you’re my obsession, my addiction, my drug. Don’t want to be without you when I wake up, oh no.”_

Andy’s jaw dropped and Mark, who’d taken a mouthful of bourbon, choked and started coughing hard as the drink went down the wrong pipe.

Smirking, Maria continued, _“¿Te quedarás por siempre? ¿Te quedarás cuándo quero? ¿Te quedarás cada noche? Te pido quedarte por la mañana. ¿Te quedarás?”_ (Will you be there in the morning? Will you be there when I want you? Will you be there when I wake up? I need you to be there in the morning. Will you be there?)

The confused looks on her teammates’ faces was priceless. When she sang _en español_ , they had no idea what she was saying. Switching back and forth either helped them out or made them even more confused. So she decided to sing in English for the next verse. Directing her attention to the NCIS team—and one member in particular—Maria continued, _“Well, you’re so close to me, but I feel so alone. The more that I touch you, ooo, the more I want. Don’t know what to do about me loving you, but I pray to God that you feel it too.”_

By now, Amy was laughing softly at the stunned look on Andy’s face. She’d sensed some sexual tension between the two, but as far as she knew they'd never acted on it. Maria was planning on keeping it that way, too, despite the minor Heart single she was now entertaining them with.

 _“Oh! sabes, eres mi obsesión y mi razón de ser y este gran fuego solo puedes encender, oh no.”_ (Now, baby, you’re my obsession, my addiction, my drug. So let the candle grow into a great fire of love, oh yeah.)

 _“¿Te quedarás por siempre? ¿Te quedarás cuándo quero? ¿Te quedarás cada noche? Te pido quedarte por la mañana. No quiero amor how solamente. No es amor si no es por siempre. ¿Puedes ver que you estoy muriendo por ti? Quiero más, más . . .”_ (Will you be there in the morning? Will you be there when I want you? Will you be there when I wake up? I need you to be there in the morning. Oh, yeah. Ooo, yeah. I wanna love you forever. Don’t want a love that’s now or never. Can’t you see you've got me down on the floor? I want more, more . . .)

_“¿Te quedarás por siempre? ¿Te quedarás cuándo quiero? ¿Te quedarás cada noche? ¿Te quedarás por siempre? ¿Te quedarás? ¿Te quedarás? ¿Te quedarás cuándo quiero? ¿Te quedarás cada noche? ¿Te quedarás por siempre? ¿Te quedarás cuándo quiero? ¿Te quedarás cada noche? ¿Te quedarás por siempre? ¿Te quedarás cuándo quiero? ¿Te quedarás cada noche?”_

When her song was over, Maria was back with her team in two seconds flat, a wild look in her eyes. “I swear, if any one of you make me do that again, I will kill you. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Tom answered quickly.

Andy sucked in a breath. “Oh, he’s in for it now.”

“Why?” Amy asked.

“He called her ma'am. Never call Maria that if you want to live.”

Maria snarled, not caring that she was surrounded by Statics. “What did you call me?” She grabbed the probie by his shirt, slamming him down on the counter, her face inches from his.

“It won’t happen again,” McGurn squeaked.

“Maria, get off him,” Mark ordered. _“Now.”_

Reluctantly, she did. In a way, she viewed Mark as her pack leader. Andy would be the beta, she would be the middle-ranking wolf, and Tom would be an omega. Too bad none of the rest of the team were Shifters, she thought wistfully. The ability to shift was genetic. You either had the gene or you didn’t.

“Hey, Boss,” Andy said, breaking into Maria’s thoughts, “what do you say we take a little break from karaoke?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“I don’t even want to know,” came a familiar voice from behind the team. Turning around, everyone saw Janet Garcia, the Special Agent in Charge of the Colorado Springs field office. The redhead pulled up a barstool and joined them. She said brightly, “So, what’s this I hear about karaoke?”

Maria was pretty sure they were all thinking the same thing: _We’re doomed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: "Will You Be There (In the Morning)" by Heart, aka "Te Quedarás (En La Mañana)"


	9. I Won't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: "I Won't" by Pat Benatar

“Well?” Janet prompted when none of the team answered.

“Uh, well, uh . . .” Maria stammered. Andy rested a hand on hers and whispered, “Let me handle this.” He pointed at Amy. “It was her idea, Janet.” Then he ducked to avoid the forensic scientist's fist.

“I see,” was all the redhead had to say. Casting a sly look at Mark, she said, “Since you guys are apparently taking a break, I’m going next.”

Maria had to hold in a yelp of horror. She'd been right: They were all doomed. It wasn’t that Janet was a horrible singer, but she really got into a performance. In her opinion, it made the SAC look ridiculous.

Janet apparently took their stunned silence for approval, since she marched right up to the machine, selected the song she wanted, and grabbed one of the microphones. Spinning around, she glared at Mark, the look on her face saying she meant business. Maria watched the two ex-lover apprehensively; there was no telling how this was going to end up.

_"I was there when you cried like a baby, when you thought that maybe things weren't going your way. I was there when you asked me just ‘cause you asked me and I didn't hesitate.”_

Mark gulped while his team looked on, fascinated. 

_“Now that I need you, you turn away. Like I was nothing, like it was a big mistake. Come on, baby, you know it ain't right. Tell me how do you sleep at night?”_

“Here we go,” Andy muttered.

_“I won’t behave, sit quietly by while you take everything that I keep inside of me. I won’t be still. Oh no not I. ’Cause there’s no way that I’d stay here. I’d rather die than love you. I’d rather die than love you. You know that I would rather die.”_

“That’s harsh,” McGurn said.

Amy nudged his shoulder. “Just wait.”

The SAC was now really getting into it, Maria noticed. Oh, boy.

_“It isn’t fair to take someone’s heart, tear it apart, use it like you don’t care. How does it feel to be hurt? It’s gonna get worse. It’s gonna get ugly, I swear. How many tears can one person cry? How much is enough when it’s time to say goodbye? Come on, baby, you know it ain’t right. Tell me, how do you sleep at night?_

_“I won’t behave, sit quietly by while you take everything that I keep inside of me. I won’t be still. Oh no not I. ’Cause there's no way that I’d stay here. I’d rather die than love you. I’d rather die than love you. You know that I would rather—_

_“Oh, I sit here and I contemplate just how much I truly hate you, and there’s nothing more sacred in this world than love. But you’ve got no conscience, and you’re not worthy of it.”_

During the brief instrumental break, she hopped offstage and stalked over to the NCIS team, her strides long and lean and reminding Maria of a panther. Her wolf itched beneath her skin, wanting to protect her pack leader.

_Oh, quit it._

Meanwhile, her team leader had gone even paler than he had before, so he now resembled a ghost. Andy’s shoulders were shaking with silent laughter, and the rest of the NCIS group was eyeing Janet warily.

Sashaying her hips, the redhead pumped a fist in the air at a certain point in the guitar solo. Then she started singing again: _“I won’t behave. Oh no not I. I won’t behave, sit quietly by while you take everything that I keep inside of me. I won’t be still. Oh no not I. ’Cause there’s no way that I’d stay here. I’d rather die than love you. I’d rather die than love you. You know that I would rather . . .”_

She finished with a series of “Ooo”s, and finally even those died off. Janet then folded her arms over her chest and smirked. “You have anything to say about that?”

Maria was pretty sure Mark would have refused, but Amy said, “Of course he does!” and shoved the former SEAL out of his chair. As he passed her, Maria heard him mutter, “Whatever happened to taking a break?”


	10. Janie's Got a Gun

_Would someone remind me why I even agreed to this?_ Mark thought as he reluctantly walked over to the darn karaoke machine that was quickly becoming the bane of his existence. Briefly he wondered what song to do; then his eyes landed on Janet and he remembered a former op of theirs—and how her father died. The song “Janie’s Got a Gun” came to mind, and he said as such to the DJ. Within seconds, the chords of the Aerosmith song filled the room.

Recognizing it, every member of the NCIS team flinched. They knew Janet’s father had died when she was a teenager, but none of them save for Hanson and Garcia knew how or why. The official report said that it was suicide, but unless there was a three-way gun in the house . . .

Maria’s eyes fixed on her team leader. His face was unreadable as he began the first few verses of the song: _“Ch dum dum. Honey, what have you done? Ch dum dum. It’s the sound of my gun. Ch dum dum honey what have you done? Ch dum dum it’s the sound, it’s the sound, it’s the sound. Nyah, nyah, nyah. Nyah, nyah, nyah._

_“Janie’s got a gun. Janie’s got a gun. Whole world’s come undone lookin’ straight at the sun._

_“What did her daddy do? What did he put you through? They say when Janie was arrested they found him underneath a train. But man! he had it comin’. Now that Janie’s got a gun, she ain’t never gonna be the same._

_“Janie’s got a gun. Janie’s got a gun. Dog day’s just begun. Everybody is on the run._

_“Tell me now it's untrue. What did her daddy do? He jacked a little bitty baby. The man has got to be insane. They say the spell that he was under, the lightning and the thunder, knew that someone had to stop the rain._

_“Run away, run away from the pain. Run away, run away from the pain. Run away, run away. Run, run away.”_

The song launched into an instrumental, and as his team watched, Mark did an air guitar solo.

Amy turned to Janet. “This is about you, isn't it?”

The redheaded Special Agent in Charge nodded. “Yes. Well, sort of. I was sixteen when I killed my father.”

“Why?” Andy asked.

“What do you think?” she snapped.

_“Janie’s got a gun. Janie’s got a gun. Dog day’s just begun. Everybody’s on the run._

_“What did her daddy do? It’s Janie’s last I-O-U. She had to take him down easy, and put a bullet in his brain. She said, ‘’Cause nobody believes me. The man was such a sleaze. He ain't never gonna be the same.’_

_“Run away, run away from the pain. Run away, run away from the pain. Run away, run away. Run, run away. Janie’s got a gun. Janie’s got a gun. Janie’s got a gun. Everybody is on the run. Janie’s got a gun. Dog day’s just begun. Everybody’s on the run. Janie’s got a gun. Janie’s got a gun. Everybody is on the run. Janie’s got a gun.”_

It was with relief that the former SEAL hopped down from the little stage. Walking over to the team, he took in their somber faces. “Hey, guys, it happened years ago. Relax. Cheer up.”

Amy, Maria, Andy, and Tom looked crestfallen for a few moments. Then Amy’s face brightened. “I know just the song to help.”

Maria and Andy exchanged a look and rolled their eyes. Maria thought, _Now we’re in for it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: "Janie's Got a Gun" by Aerosmith
> 
> And I couldn't help the very slight Get Smart reference. Gotta love Mel Brooks. :)


	11. Girls Just Want to Have Fun

“Come on!” Before Maria could protest, Amy had grabbed her hand and was dragging her over to the bloody machine.

“Uh, Amy, what—?”

The forensic scientist ignored her, her fingers flying as she scrolled through the song choices. Maria’s eyes lost track on the titles, they went by so fast. Finally, though, it stopped on a very familiar song, one that had become part of the popular culture. She shot an exasperated look at Amy and said, “Really?”

“Really,” the blonde confirmed with a satisfied nod.

Maria considered fighting one more time, ditched the idea, and shrugged. “Let’s do it.”

“Great!” Amy handed a mike to Maria and pressed Play. Within seconds, the opening notes to the Cyndi Lauper classic filled the room.

At a nod from Amy, Maria went first, her eyes finding Janet's. _“I come home in the morning light. My mother says, ‘When you gonna live your life right?’ Oh, mother dear, we’re not the fortunate ones. And girls, they wanna have fun. Oh, girls just wanna have fun.”_

The forensic scientist went next, a smirk on her face as she gestured at Agent Hanson, since he was like a father figure for the rest of the NCIS team. Of course, Hanson and Garcia had looks on their faces that said, _Who, me?_

_“The phone rings in the middle of the night. My father yells, ‘What you gonna do with your life?’ Oh, daddy dear, you know you’re still number one, but girls, they wanna have fun. Oh, girls just wanna have fun.”_

Together, the two women chorused, _“That's all they really want, some fun. When the working day is done, girls, they want to have fun. Oh, girls just want to have fun.”_

As they moved on to the next verse, both Maria and Amy had their eyes pinned on DeMarco and McGurn, respectively. The two men gulped and glanced at each other before slinking down in their seats.

_“Some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world. I want to be the one to walk in the sun. Oh, girls, they want to have fun. Oh, girls just want to have fun. That's all they really want, some fun. When the working day is done, girls, they want to have fun. Oh, girls just want to have fun. They just want to have fun. They just want to have fun.”_

Thankfully, their plan to cheer their friends up seemed to have worked. Janet was grinning while Steiner, DeMarco, and McGurn were shaking with barely-suppressed laughter.

Grinning, Amy stood in front of the guys. She challenged, “So, do you have anything to say about that?”

Before Jim and Tom could stop him, Andy replied, “Of course we do!” He grabbed Autopsy Gremlin and Elf Lord and dragged them up to the stage.

Maria smirked. _This is gonna be good._


	12. Let's Get Rocked

“I swear, Andy,” Tom said as the senior field agent pushed him onstage, “you’re going to be the death of me one day.”

Andy shrugged. “Whatever.” He was too busy looking at the songs stored on the machine to care much about what his teammate was saying.

Jim Steiner, also known affectionately as Autopsy Gremlin, eyed the karaoke machine nervously. “Why did I ever come here in the first place?”

“If you want to leave, there’s the door,” Andy said, pointing at the entrance/exit to the bar.

Instead of heading for the door, the Gremlin headed back to the team's table.

McGurn exchanged a glance with DeMarco, who smirked and pressed Play on the karaoke machine, having selected the song he wanted. As the lyrics came up on the screen, he asked, _“Do you wanna get rocked? Let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get rocked.”_

Tom shook his head and, for lack of anything better to do, started playing air guitar as Andy started the first verse: _“I’m your average ordinary everyday kid happy to do nothin’; in fact, that’s what I did. I got a million ways to make my day, but daddy don’t agree. Cos when I try to get away he says he got plans for me.”_

Next up came the call-and-response. Tom smacked Andy on the back of the head as he ordered, _“Get your butt right out of bed.”_

Andy came back with, “ _Stop buggin’ me.”_

McGurn rolled his eyes and said, _“Get up and move your sleepy head.”_

Smirking, DeMarco retorted, _“Don’t shake my tree. He said, ‘Mow the lawn’—who, me?”_

He actually pointed to himself and looked around in confusion, much to his teammates’ amusement.

 _“Walk the dog,”_ Tom ordered.

_“Not my style, man.”_

_“Take out the trash.”_

_“No way!”_

_“Tidy your room!”_

_“C’mon, get real. Sorry, Dad, gotta disappear. Let’s get the rock out of here!”_

At that, Maria and Amy chuckled. A glance over at Mark showed the team leader was giving a rare half-smile, as if this actually amused him.

Up onstage, both agents were already moving onto the next verse, finally loosening up a bit and moving around. They chorused, _“Seven day weekend, up all night. In at the deep end, hang on tight. It won’t take a minute, it won’t take long. So get it, come on, come on, come on. Let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get rocked. Let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get rocked. Let’s go all the way, get it night and day. Come on, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get rocked.”_

Much to everyone’s surprise, it was Tom who took up the next verse: _“I’m your average ordinary everyday dude drivin' with my baby to get her in the mood. She’s dialin’ through my radio and I’m ready to make my move. But what she got ain’t rock ’n’ roll and it really blew my groove. It was Chopin, Mozart, Beethoven—makes me wanna scream! Bach, Tschackisky, violins—turn it off, that ain’t my scene. Well, I’m sorry girl, here’s my confession: I suppose a rock’s out of the question?”_

Andy joined in, and the two men sang in unison up until the song’s end—goofing off all the while, of course.

_“Seven day weekend, up all night. In at the deep end, hang on tight. It won’t take a minute, it won’t take long. So get it, come on, come on, come on. Let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get rocked. Let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get rocked. Let’s go all the way, get it night and day. Come on, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get rocked._

_“All I wanna do is take a ride into the blue. Every time I want to I get stuck inside my room. Heaven knows I’m sick and tired of dancin’ with this broom._

_“I feel lucky today. Hey, look at that, man! Do you wanna get rocked, do you wanna get rocked?_

_“Oh, it won’t take you a minute. It won’t take that long. So come on, get with it, come on, everybody. Let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get rocked. Get on top, baby. Let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get rocked. Do you wanna? Do you wanna? Let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get rocked. Get on top of it. Let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let's get rocked. Love to rock your body, baby. Let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get rocked, yeah._

_“Let’s go all the way, let’s do it night and day. Let’s get out and play, rock the night away. Come on, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get rocked._

_“Do you wanna get rocked?"_

At the last drumbeat, the two agents struck rock-starlike poses. Amy broke the silence by laughing, hard, and Jenny and Maria soon followed her lead. The blonde forensic scientist gasped, “Oh, geez. That was brilliant!”

Andy decided to try and push his luck. With a smirk, he challenged, “You have anything else you wanna say?”

“Sure,” Maria said automatically. “I have something in mind.”

“What?” he asked eagerly—almost too eagerly.

She smiled wickedly. “All I’m sayin’ is ‘just call me on the phone and baby come on over’ . . . or better yet, you lot just can't live without us.” _Now, which one to choose: “Make Love Like a Man” or “Women”?_


	13. Women

Andy paled. “What do you—?”

“Oh, you’ll find out soon enough.” Despite not wanting to sing another karaoke song, Maria found the opportunity just too good to pass up. She walked over to Amy and Janet, whispered the name of the song in their ears. Both women exchanged amused smiles and said in unison, “We’re in.”

The DJ released a tiny groan when he saw them coming and reluctantly set aside his issue of MSN. However, when he heard about their song choice, a smirk crawled across his face and he set up the machine within three seconds.

The field agent, SAC, and forensic scientist started out the song by playing air guitar, with Amy lip-synching along almost like Joe Elliott in the music video. Then the forensic scientist took up the first verse, her rich alto easily adjusting the F Clef notes into the higher register.

_“In the beginning, God made the land. Then he made the water and creatures; then he made man. He was born with a passion, love and hate. A restless spirit with a need for a mate. But there was something missing, something lost, so he came up with the answer. Here's what it cost: One part love, one part wild, one part lady, one part child.”_

Maria and Janet joined in, _“I give you women, women, lots of pretty women! Men, men, they can’t live without them. Women, women,lots of pretty women. Men, men, they can’t live without them.”_

“They’re right about that,” Hanson muttered into his glass of bourbon.

Maria heard him and smiled a little. Then she took the lead on the next few verses, with the other two women on backing vocals. Her eyes raked over the crowd at the bar, lingering on her partner as she sang, _“And in the garden, lust began. The animal instinct, the wanton man. She fed him with a hunger, an appetite. And filling with emotion, he took a bite. It was one part love, one part child, one part lover, one part wild. I give you women, women, lots of pretty women! Men, men, they can’t live without them. Women, women, lots of pretty women! Men, men, they can't live without them.”_

Janet took over at the bridge, taunting her former lover (Agent Hanson) with her body language. _“Skin on skin, let the love begin. Women!”_

All three women chorused: _“It was one part love, one part wild, one part lover, one part child. A whole lotta fire, a little bit of ice, a whole lotta somethin’ you can’t sacrifice._

_“I give you hair, eyes, skin on skin, (legs) legs, (thighs) thighs. What's that spell? What's that spell? What's that spell? What's that spell? Women, women! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, women! Women! Women!_

_“Callin’ every girl (women, women) all around the world. Women! Women! Women, oh, we can't live without them. Women, women.”_

The three men were dumbfounded. McGurn turned to DeMarco and said, “Did they just insult us?”

Andy frowned, running over the song lyrics in his mind. After several seconds of silence, he said slowly, “You know, McProbie, I think they did.”

“Don’t call me McProbie,” Tom said automatically. “Or Probie, or any other stupid McNickname you can come up with.”

"Okay, McSpoilsport.”

Tom opened his mouth, sighed instead, shut it, and shook his head. “Why do I even bother?”

"Beats me.” Andy shrugged in a what-can-you-do fashion. A sly look lit into his eyes, and he tapped a forefinger on his chin thoughtfully. “Hhmm, what was it Maria said earlier? ‘Just call me on the phone and baby come on over’?”

“I think so,” Tom said warily. “Why?” Suspicion laced his tone.

“It's from a song, Sith Lord.”

“Andy, I’m not Darth Vader, okay?”

“No, you just role-play him.”

“Oh, come on! You’re a _Star Wars_ fan, too!”

“No, I’m more of a Trekkie.”

“Huh?”

“ _Star Trek_ fan,” Andy explained, rolling his eyes. “Sheesh. Have I taught you nothing?”

“Um . . .”

“Don’t answer that,” Andy said quickly. “Anyway, she quoted a song. Now, let’s see if I can find it . . .”

With that, he rose from his seat, leaving the barely-touched drink, and wandered over to the machine. McGurn gave a long-suffering sigh before following.


	14. Make Love Like a Man

Maria watched apprehensively from where she was standing beside Janet and Amy as Andy and Tom walked over to the karaoke machine—McGurn albeit reluctantly. The wolf beneath her skin stirred restlessly, wanting to do anything, be anywhere but here.

Too little, too late. She’d been there this long, so it seemed rude to walk out now. And, yeah, she was a little curious about what song they’d chosen. (With her keen senses, she could have heard their conversation, but she tried not to eavesdrop on her teammates unless absolutely necessary.)

Seconds later, Andy released a triumphant cry and hopped on the stage, dragging McGurn with him—and motioning for Hanson and Steiner to join them.

Exchanging glances, the team leader and Autopsy Gremlin joined the senior and junior field agents. Then the brief intro started. Mark instantly said, “I’m out” and hopped off, striding over to where he’d left his glass of bourbon.

Maria, recognizing the intro—since she was a major Def Leppard freak—grinned, nodded her head to the beat, and started laughing a little. She thought, _Nice choice, guys. This song is hilarious!_

Onstage, Andy, Tom, and Jim sang the opening verse in unison: _“Make love like a man. I’m a man, that’s what I am. Huh! C’mon.”_

Andy took over the first verse with, _“All you girls ’round the world lookin’ for a guy who's a real go-getter, yeah. Every guy, grab a girl. Love her like a man, make her feel a lot better.  
Everybody, you want it—I’m the one.”_

Tom added, _“I got it—I’m Mr. Fun.”_

Jim Steiner was blushing as he threw in, _“You need it—I’m Captain Cool.”_

Andy concluded, _“Come get it—and I've come for you. Come on!”_

Then it was on to the chorus, with all three guys singing, _“Don’t call me gigolo, don’t call me Casanova.”_

A quick look over at Amy told Maria the forensic scientist was struggling hard not to laugh as well, but losing the battle.

_“Just call me on the phone and baby come on over when you need someone, when you need someone to make love like a man. I’m a man, and that’s what I am, yeah. Make love like a man. Your kinda man, and that's what I am.”_

“Yeah, right,” Mark, Maria, Janet, and Amy said sarcastically.

At least the three NCIS employees onstage were enjoying themselves, moving around like the band in the music video. Much to his teammates’ surprise, Tom was the one who took up the next verse:

_“Oh, every day, every night, take her little heart till it beats like a hammer, yeah. Oh come on, do it good, do it right. Crazy little girl gonna stutter 'n' stammer.”_

Once again, it was on to the chorus, with all three agents singing, _“Don’t call me gigolo, don’t call me Casanova. Just call me on the phone, and, baby, come on over when you need someone, when you need someone to make love like a man. I’m a man, and that's what I am. Make love like a man. Your kinda man, and that's what I am.”_

Steiner, looking much more at ease, belted out, _“Gimme some rock ’n’ roll, little bit of rock ’n’ roll. It’s gotta be rock ’n’ roll, little bit of rock ’n’ roll!”_

There was a guitar solo before Tom took over Phil Collen’s verse: _“A little bit of love goes a long, long way. Gonna get it on if you really wanna get her. Never ever wait, it's a little too late. Love her like a man, make her feel a lot better.”_

Andy sang, _“You want it—yeah, baby.”_

Tom interjected, _“I got it—why not?”_

Steiner added, _“You need it—oh! Oh!”_

DeMarco finished with, _“Come get it—oh, come on.”_

Again, it was back to the chorus: _“Don’t call me gigolo, don’t call me Casanova. Just call me on the phone and, baby, come on over when you need someone, when you need someone to make love like a man. I’m a man, and that’s what I am. Make love like a man. Your kinda man, and that’s what I am.”_

Next Andy took the lead vocals, with Tom and Jim as backing vocalists: _“Make love—make love like a man—like a man. I’m a man—I’m a man, that’s what I am, baby. Make love—make love like a man—like a man. I’m a man—I’m a man, that’s what I am. Hey, get it while you can—make love—I wanna be your man—like a man. Baby understand—I’m a man. I’m a m-m-m-man. Make love—make love like a man—like a man. Your kinda man.”_

Drumbeat . . . wait . . . wait . . . Finally McGurn concluded, _“Oh, love her like a man, she's gonna feel a lot better. And that’s a fact!”_

By now, Maria was busy shaking with silent laughter. Glancing over, she saw that Amy was as well. When the guys came over, she gasped out, “That—was—great. Love—the—video.”

“Huh?” Steiner said, his eyebrows knitting in confusion.

Andy rolled his blue eyes. “She’s a Def Leppard fan, Autopsy Gremlin. Don’t you know that by now?”

Maria couldn’t resist. Smiling, she said, “And that’s a fact.”

This comment was only met by muffled groans. Maria glanced around at her teammates and asked innocently, “What?”


	15. Sex as a Weapon

Since no one had answered her question, the entire team was taking a break. Really, Maria should have known it wouldn’t last: At least five minutes in, Andy was off on one of his usual pursuits. Maria noticed, and she began flexing and unflexing her claws lovingly as her eyes homed in on the potential aiming spot. Jeanine couldn’t help but smile slightly as she relished the Shifter’s irritation.

SAC Garcia was having a similar problem with Hanson, only they were debating on how she handled the issue on the Bryant op. Finally, the redhead’s temper—which was almost as fiery as her hair—exploded. “You really have to be the tough one, don’t you, Hanson?”

 _Oh, no,_ the DJ thought. Sensing another spontaneous outburst of singing coming on, he hurried to set everything up. He was ready when both Janet and Maria cried, “Hit it!”

Frantic rock music filled the room as Janet paced in front of the team leader.

“Is this from _The Legend of Billie Jean_?” Andy wondered.

“Nope,” Maria told him, popping up between her partner and his latest object of fascination. “It sounds similar at first, though.”

Their Special Agent in Charge taunting their boss broke into their conversation.

_“You really do know how to strut that stuff (strut that stuff). You really do know how to act tough (act tough).”_

Smiling evilly, Maria told Andy, _“Your body’s just like a centerfold (centerfold). A fantasy (a fantasy) anyone would want to hold.”_

He shrugged, as if to say, “Well . . .”

_“Stop using sex as a weapon. Stop using sex as a weapon. You know you're already my obsession.”_

Janet added from where she was having a staring contest with Hanson, _“Stop (stop) using sex as a weapon. Love is more than a one way reflection. Stop (stop) using sex as a weapon.”_

Andy’s amused expression morphed to satisfaction as Maria continued, _“With looks that kill and a mind that’s twisted (twisted) I don’t know why I can’t resist it (resist it). I tell myself to look the other way (other way). When you want me to (when you want me to) I, I already stay.”_

The redheaded Colorado Springs director joined in with the she-wolf on the chorus.

_“Stop using sex as a weapon. Stop using sex as a weapon. You know you’re already my obsession. Stop (stop) using sex as a weapon. Love is more than a one way reflection. Stop (stop) using sex as a weapon.”_

Maria reprimanded Andy (who was looking increasingly uncomfortable): _“You play with desire like it was a toy (toy). How much affection can you destroy?”_

Jeanine—yes, she's still there—grinned in revenge.

_“You wrap my heart around your little finger. Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex as a weapon.”_

After a brief break and a look at McGurn, Amy suddenly added, _“Stop using sex as a weapon. Stop using sex.”_

The redheaded SAC took over. _“Stop using sex as a weapon. Stop using sex as a weapon. You know you're already my obsession. Stop (stop) using sex as a weapon.”_

Maria’s voice twined with Agent Garcia's as they harmonized, _“Love is more than a one way reflection.”_

Janet continued, _“Stop (stop) using sex as a weapon.”_

Together the two women warned each of their respective partners: _“Stop (stop) using sex as a weapon. Stop using sex as a weapon. Stop using sex. Stop using sex as a weapon. Stop using sex (stop using sex, stop using sex). Sex as a weapon, as a weapon.”_

Hanson looked completely baffled, as though he wasn't quite sure why or how this related to him. Jeanine had the look of a cat that had swallowed the canary, and DeMarco looked terrified—there were now women swarming around him. The rest of the team, as well as the other federal employee patrons, grinned wolfishly.

“I am never going to let them forget this,” said McGurn gleefully. His favorite forensic scientist nodded agreement, as did Agent Lee (Steiner’s main squeeze), who had appeared with Jim Steiner at the beginning of the song. Said Autopsy Gremlin looked horror-struck, glancing uneasily at Lee as if thinking she was going to start in on him.

Holmes broke the ice by asking, “Anyone want another drink?”

“Uh, guys? I need a little help over here,” said Andy's voice from a corner. Maria’s claws were sheathed, but the movie-loving playboy was now surrounded by women glaring daggers at him, Jeanine among them. Maria herself was at her partner’s side, warning them to stay away with eyes like slits.

“I think you have it under control,” Hanson told his deputy, lips twitching. The former SEAL turned to Holmes. “Sure, I’ll have another bourbon.”

DeMarco gulped, thinking the words that were the last of almost every _Star Wars_ character: _I have a very bad feeling about this._


	16. Tonight Is What It Means To Be Young

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter. Sorry if anyone thought this was a daft idea, but I think it helped me figure out my characters a little bit more.

After what seemed like forever, the women surrounding DeMarco dispersed to their previous locations. He gave an audible sigh of relief, slumping down in the corner. “Can we please go home now?”

“Seriously?” Maria fixed him with a stern expression, but there was laughter dancing in her dark-brown eyes.

“YES!”

Maria pretended to think about it. “No.”

“Aw, come on!”

“Well, considering all the torture we’ve probably put the patrons through, it would seem cold to leave without giving them a heads up, don't you think?”

“Um . . .”

“I agree,” Amy said, popping up on Maria's five. Both the Shifter and her partner jumped in surprise.

“Amy,” Maria said slowly, trying to restrain her wolf, “would you please stop sneaking up on us like that?”

The blonde forensic scientist smirked. “Sorry, can’t do that. Besides, it’s so much fun.”

Both partners face-palmed.

“So,” Amy continued, “what should our last song be? I mean, we have to have the whole team up here for it.”

A line from a song in _Streets of Fire_ rang in Maria’s head. The Shifter hummed it, and then broke into singsong: “But it’s only a dream and tonight is for real. You’ll never know what it means, but you'll know how it feels. It’s gonna be over—over—before you know it’s begun . . .”

Amy perked up even more, this time with interest. “What song is that?”

“‘Tonight Is What It Means To Be Young’ from _Streets of Fire_ ,” Maria said. “I dunno if you’ve seen it—it came out in ’84.”

“I’m guessing you’ve seen it.” That was DeMarco.

“On DVD—and that was after endless searching.”

“Ah.” Amy shrugged. “Well, let me round up the others.”

While she bounced off, Maria and Andy exchanged glances. Andy wondered, “Why do I have a bad feeling about this?”

“Oh, lighten up,” Maria said, playfully slamming her fist into his shoulder. “Besides, it’s the last song we’re doing for tonight. Then we can leave. How’s that?”

“I can deal with that.”

“Good.” A small smile lit Maria's face. “Looks like you’re going to have to, because the gang’s all here.” She walked over to join her teammates, noting that Amy had somehow persuaded even Holmes to join the group; and her sensitive ears caught Andy’s sigh before he, too, shoved off the wall he'd been leaning against and caught up to her.

Each of the eight NCIS employees grabbed a mike. Amy signed for the DJ to press Play on the machine, and before long, the opening chords to the Fire, Inc. song filled the bar.

While the intro was playing, Amy said into her mike, “This is our last song for the night. Hope you’ve had a good time. Of course, if you’re not here for the music, that's okay, too. In fact—”

She was cut off as Maria sang, _“I’ve got a dream ’bout an angel on the beach, and the perfect waves are starting to come. His hair is flying out in ribbons of gold, and his touch has got the power to stun. I’ve got a dream ’bout an angel in the forest enchanted by the edge of a lake. His body’s glowing in the jewels of light, and the earth below him’s starting to shake.”_

Maria faded out; Amy took over, _“But I don't see any angels in the city. I don't hear any holy choirs sing. And if I can’t get an angel, I can still get a boy. And a boy’ll be the next best thing, the next best thing to an angel. A boy’ll be the next best thing.”_

The music sped up its tempo, and the team could hear what sounded like a motorcycle in the sound effects. Janet lifted her own mike and, twining around Hanson, sang, _“I’ve got a dream ’bout a boy in a castle, and he’s dancing like a cat on the stairs. He’s got the fire of a prince in his eyes and the thunder of a drum in his ears. I’ve got a dream ’bout a boy on a star looking down upon the realm of the world. He’s there all alone and dreaming of someone like me. I’m not an angel but at least I’m a girl."_

At Amy's hand wave, the guys (Mark, Andy, Jim, Tom, and Holmes) chorused, _“I’ve got a dream when the darkness is over we’ll be lying in the rays of the sun. But it’s only a dream and tonight is for real. You’ll never know what it means, but you’ll know how it feels. It’s gonna be over—”_

 _“Over,”_ Amy, Maria, and Janet interjected

_“—before you know it’s begun.”_

_“Before you know it’s begun,”_ the girls added.

The entire team sang in unison, _“Oh, it’s all we really got tonight. Stop your cryin’, hold on tonight. Before you know it it’s gone (tonight). Tonight is what it means to be young. Tonight is what it means to be young._

_“Let the revels begin. Let the fire be started. We're dancing for the restless and the broken-hearted. Let the revels begin. Let the fire be started. We’re dancing for the desperate and the broken-hearted. Let the revels begin. Let the fire be started.”_

_“Tonight is what it means to be young,"_ Maria sang.

_“We're dancing for the restless and the broken-hearted.”_

_“Before you know it it's gone,”_ Amy added.

_“Let the revels begin. Let the fire be started.”_

_“Tonight is what it means to be young,”_ Maria sang.

_“We’re dancing for the desperate and the broken-hearted.”_

Again, Amy added, _“Before you know it it's gone.”_

The entire team chorused, _“Say a prayer in the darkness for the magic to come. No matter what it seems tonight is what it means to be young. Tonight is what it means to be young. Before you know it it’s gone._

_“I’ve got a dream when the darkness is over we'll be lying in the rays of the sun. But it’s only a dream and tonight is for real. You'll never know what it means, but you'll know how it feels. It’s gonna be over (over) before you know it's begun. (Before you know it's begun.)_

_“Oh, it's all we really got tonight. Stop your cryin', hold on (tonight). Before you know it it's gone (tonight). Tonight is what it means to be young. Tonight is what it means to be young._

_“Let the revels begin. Let the fire be started. We’re dancing for the desperate and the broken-hearted. Let the revels begin. Let the fire be started. (Tonight is what it means to be young.) We’re dancing for the restless and the broken-hearted. (Before you know it it’s gone.)_

_"Say a prayer in the darkness for the magic to come, ’cause no matter what it seems tonight is what it means to be young. No matter what it seems tonight is what it means to be young. Tonight is what it means to be young. Before you know it it's gone. Tonight is what it means to be young. Before you know it it's gone._

_“Let the revels begin. Let the fire be started. We're dancing for the restless and the broken-hearted. Let the revels begin. Let the fire be started. We’re dancing for the desperate and the broken-hearted._

_“The things they say, and then the things they do. Nothing’s gonna stop us if our aim is true. The things they say, and then the things they do. Nothing’s gonna stop us if our aim is true. The things they say, and then the things they do. Nothing’s gonna stop us if our aim is true._

_“Let the revels begin. Let the fire be started. We’re dancing for the restless and the broken-hearted. Let the revels begin. Let the fire be started. We’re dancing for the desperate and the broken-hearted.”_

When the song ended, all eight team members clasped hands and bowed. Of course, Andy had to ruin the moment by doing an Elvis impersonation: “Thank you, thank you very much!”

Maria, not to be outdone, quoted one of her favorite singers: “Until next time—and there will be a next time.”

“Not,” Jim, Tom, and Janet coughed.

They fell silent when Maria turned ice-cold dark eyes on them, the wolf in her causing her to lift her lip in a silent snarl. Then, as one, the team hopped off the stage and strode for the door, Mark stopping briefly to pay the tab.

As she felt the cool night air on her face, Maria breathed in deeply. All she could think was: I’m glad that’s over.  
Hopefully, it wouldn’t happen again anytime soon.

Of course, knowing Amy, it probably would—except she would just have one at their field office.

_Oh joy._


End file.
